Welcoming Mack James Bowman to the family born 1/3/13, Proud parents Chloe and Quinn!
There are no words to describe the joy that comes from a new little baby. Chloe did such a great job, so proud of her, she is already such a wonderful mother. No one can ever replace the loss of a child, I miss my son Sterling so much, but holding Mack in my arms I feel a little piece of Sterling with me, maybe Sterling kissed baby Mack and sent him on his way, at least that is what I like to think. Mack James is named after his uncle James Sterling. Today I feel blessed beyond words! Already so in love with our little angel, straight from Heaven!!

"Life is like a game of poker—you have to play the hand you're dealt. … But a wise player can play what seems to be a weak hand and win the game."
– Pastor Rick Warren

"Nobody can take away your pain, so don’t let anyone take away your happiness." – Unknown
You need to be able to be perfectly happy just on your own. If you ever want to be truly happy you must be conscious of the fact that you determine your happiness and not anyone else. Never let someone steal your happiness, it was never theirs to take. Life is full of ups and downs. The trick is to enjoy the ups and have courage during the downs.

"It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about." – Dale Carnegie

tAkInG tHe fIrSt StEp

So de-Nile is not just a river in Jordan, it is where we live sometimes not recognizing the problem, or how severe it has become. How can I fix something I don't even think is broken? So here I go stepping forward...
First things first, I need to stop repeating old behaviors expecting new or different results, great way to make one crazy, and yet we all do it, right? Denial can be broken when we quit hoping for a different past and set about creating a different present (from recovery to survival). Funny how sometimes we try to recreate the past, what if's eat at us and grief and pain are the worst culprits ever.
But for today I choose to put the past behind me and work on creating a happy today, tomorrow and so on.
Taking the first step...

nEw YeAr NeW BeGiNNiNgS...

2013

So I have never been a big New Years resolution kind of gal, I mean really a whole year of goals set at the beginning of a year, seems like a set up for failure. I usually set weekly goals and that seems much more attainable to me. 

But here I go, it's a new year and I am stepping outside my normal box by actually setting a New Years resolution, and in an effort to keep it I am writing it down. And better than that I will be soliciting the help of my family and friends to help me (another huge step for me, as I am not good at seeking help at much of anything). 

So here it is...I am going to choose happiness, replace my fears with faith and love...even as I write it I feel doubt and fear creeping in, I think this might be a life time goal, but for now it will be my focus for 2013...so happiness, Love and Faith here I come.

Feel free to share thoughts and quotes, I will be sharing them as well...Only God knows the heart ache of my soul, and how easy it would be for me to stay trapped in fear and sadness but with Him by my side I am going to rise above.

Bring it on 2013, I am ready!